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A Dog’s Lie

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/14/magazine/14wwln-ethicist-t.html?ref=magazine

Sometimes my normally obedient dog, Ornette, escapes our fenced yard and will not return on command. We open the car door and tell her excitedly that we will take her for a walk, her favorite activity, to entice her into the car. Then we put on the leash and take her home, no walk. Although dogs don’t really understand language in the way that humans do, I’m worried about the ethical propriety of our misleading ploy. Should I be? — DAVID SCHADE, VICTORIA, BRITISH COLUMBIA

I share your skepticism that your dog understands the precise meaning of “walk” (an assertion some animal lovers will repudiate — but, please, no e-mail about how much your dog enjoys “Pride and Prejudice”). For all you know, when you excitedly say, “Walk,” your dog hears, “I like you!” or “Let’s drive home and watch ‘Lassie.’ ” Yet clearly it is possible to deceive a dog (by pretending to throw the ball, for example) and in your case, fortunately so.

What’s the alternative? You can’t offer even the most linguistically gifted dog a cogent argument for returning to the yard. You could bribe her, if you carried meat in your glove compartment, but bribery, too, raises moral questions. Happily, what you are doing is innocuous; it is not akin to telling your kids they’re going to Disneyland and then taking them to the dentist. (Or telling me I’m going to my dentist, a skilled and eloquent fellow, but instead subjecting me to the nausea and fear of an amusement park.) But if you remain determined not to fool her, then give her a firm command — into the car! — and make sure she’s trained to obey it, for the benefit of you both.

Alternatively, if you become convinced of your dog’s verbal ability, give her bus fare and tell her to return home when she likes. Be sure to mention the stop where she gets off so she doesn’t get lost.

Maybe write it down for her.